Injury update – Who am I if I don’t run?

Hi there!

If you remember from last week, I was waiting for my referral to get approved by Tricare so I could meet with an orthopedist. Well, I got confirmation of the approval on Thursday afternoon and was told that the clinic should be contacting me to schedule the appointment.

Yeah, I’m not that patient.

Cookie_monster_impatient

I waited until about 2pm on Friday and then contacted the clinic myself to “see if they had received my referral yet.” (what can I say, I know my way around scheduling appointments!) The lovely lady that answered the phone pulled me up in the system and got me all set up!

For Monday!!!

As in, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, MONDAY!!!  Whoop!

That NEVER happens in military medicine. I actually pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

I did, really. Got a bruise and everything! No, I didn’t take a picture. Sheesh!

So, the orthopedist – pretty sure she’s brilliant. She listened to me (this is a BIG deal for me as I’ve had doctors who haven’t and I’ve been misdiagnosed and treated improperly), checked out my pudgy foot, reviewed the x-rays that were done last week, and we talked about the present and the future and what we were going to do.

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And she gave me some fancy new footwear.

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Isn’t it spectacular? #sarcasm

So, here’s what’s going on.

Best case scenario is that it’s a stress fracture.

Never ever thought I would say those words. Why the hell would I want a stress fracture?

Well, because, I don’t want Freiberg’s disease which, according to the orthopedist, is a possibility.

I should be able to recover quickly from a stress fracture. Freiberg’s may have lasting complications.

So, I’m in the boot until at least September 8 when I go back for more x-rays and another appointment.

Obviously, that means no running.

That would be awkward. Could you even imagine?

She did say that I could use a stationary bike (got one of those in my garage!!) and that I could still lift weights – upper body, etc.

She gets me. She really, really gets me! 🙂

So, I went to CrossFit last night!!!

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#awkwardmirrorselfie

I hadn’t been since last Monday. I was literally suffering withdrawals!

But, I think it’s apparent that the 50k is out of the question.

I really wanted to do this 50k. I was really excited about it!

I’m disappointed.

I’m disappointed in my body for letting me down. Especially since I was really paying attention to it and I was feeling really confident!

I’m disappointed that no matter how hard I work and do things right and train properly, I end up with injuries.

Since 2008, I’ve had 4 injuries that forced me to stop running for an extended period of time. 4!!

And now, I need to really think about what my running future is.

It feels like I’m always in the “rebuilding” phase.

Maybe it’s time for me to be done running the long distances. Maybe 8 marathons is enough?

Maybe it’s time for me to be done getting up at 4:30 on a Saturday morning to get out on the road for a 20-miler?

Oh, but the sunrises! And the birds! And the quiet! And the peace!

Maybe it’s time for me to just run whenever I feel like it (if I still can) for the sheer joy of it, rather than for training purposes with specific mileage and paces required.

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Maybe it’s time for me to focus more on CrossFit. Maybe that’s what’s next in my fitness life.

I don’t know.

I definitely have some time to think about it and really evaluate what I want to do.

I’m trying to stay focused on the positives – it’s just an injury, I’ll recover, I’m still healthy, I can still workout, the boot is black and goes with everything……

But, that’s not always the easiest thing to do. I’ve been guilty of some “woe is me” moments over the past week. There were plenty of times I felt like curling up in a ball and crying at the unfairness of it all. And, I’ve been a little grouchy.  I’ve kicked myself in the ankle like 4 times since I got this dumb boot. *sigh*

Again, trying to focus on the positives. Like, at least this didn’t happen.

But, I’m a runner. Straight down to my core.

It’s my me time – it’s what I do – it’s what makes me happy.

Who am I if I don’t run?

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 Talk to me: Anybody else dealing with injuries right now? How are you coping? Are you completely unable to workout or just limited?

– jennifer

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5 thoughts on “Injury update – Who am I if I don’t run?

  1. “Sigh”
    I don’t even know what to say…
    Tell you “walk instead”? Yeah, right 🙂
    Tell you “it will heal, just wait”? It will, but not being able to run the race you’ve been training for so hard is a total bummer and won’t feel any better after the foot heals.
    I’m just gonna say “Hang in there” and call me if you need to talk, cry, or be grouchy.
    Hugs!

  2. I searched ‘stress fracture’ and found you! I have my first bad injury, a pelvic stress fracture and it will be six months before I can start running. I can’t even do yoga without pain, so I am no exercising right now at all. I’m not coping very well at all, I have cried, and thrown my crutches across the room. Oh no wait, I need those, come back crutches! I MISS RUNNING SO MUCH!! I’ll be back though!

    • Holy cow!!! I’m so sorry to hear that! 😦 I know those can definitely take time to heal and when I had whatever was going on with my hip (no one ever did an MRI), it hurt like HELL for so long. But, once you get the go ahead to bear weight, even though you can’t run, you should be able to row! And maybe bike! And, while they don’t replace running, they are suitable substitutes.

      I hope you didn’t break anything when you tossed your crutches! I completely understand why you did it, though. Stay strong, stay focused, cry every now and then because it really does suck, but I believe you – you’ll be back! I will send as many positive and healing thoughts your way!!

  3. Pingback: Thursday Thoughts – I am what I am | A Hungry Runner

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