Quotation marks, labels, and a CrossFit booty (TOL#3)

Hello, friends!

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So, it’s been an interesting week so far.

Especially for this guy.

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You see, on Tuesday, it seems that the pantry door wasn’t shut all the way and Mr. Max decided he needed a snack while we were at work. I came home to discover a bag of potatoes in the bar – there were only a couple in there and I don’t think he ate any but I didn’t check for tooth marks. yes, I threw them away – and dog food bag trash all over the kitchen floor.

You see, I had just purchased (on Monday) a REALLY big bag of dog food. I didn’t get it all into the plastic tub we keep it in (I could have put more in but I decided to stop at 3/4 full) and I rolled up the bag nice and tight and set it on the floor next to the tub.

Well, I don’t know how much he actually ate but I’m thinking it was about 1/4 of the bag (I think there may have been about 1/2 left but I’m not positive). Needless to say, he wasn’t feeling too well.

And while I’m sure Abbey ate some too (note: she’s been guilty of this before), but Max definitely ate more. His behavior told me so.

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He was very unsettled and wanted out, wanted in, wanted out, wanted in, wanted out, wanted in, wouldn’t lay down, wanted out, wanted in, stood there staring at me, wanted out, wanted in.

Of course, he played that game all night long and I got up at 4am on Wednesday to go to spin class and I was EXHAUSTED from a lack of sleep.

He was much better when I got home last night – no longer bloated (yes, I called him my chunky monkey) and no longer so unsettled.

Of course, he wanted out at 4am this morning.

Except I wasn’t getting up until 5:45. So, I told him to shush and lay down.

He’s actually really funny. He goes out of the bedroom, goes all the way to the kitchen, sits down and woofs once (“Vasily, give me one ping, and one ping only.”) when he wants out.  Now, I don’t know how many times he does this before I wake up but it’s always one woof at a time. lol

Then, he woofed again at 5:22.

*sigh*

How do I know what time it is? We have an alarm clock that projects the time to the ceiling. Because, it’s too hard to roll over and look at the clock.

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Yes, I got up.

And, I think he should be responsible for cleaning up the back yard. #justsayin

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Okay, so I went to Starbucks after spin on Wednesday and what the what? What happened to the Sharpie?!?! I mean, I guess I should be pleased they got both my name and my order right but, there was something endearing and personal about the handwritten name, even if it was spelled wrong on occasion. Have I been labeled?

Or, is it because of this?

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I don’t even know where to start.

I guess I’ll start at the top.

(For the record, we were at a red light. I was not tailgating and snapping pictures at the same time. Sheesh.)

“Warning. May contain explosive mixtures with air. Keep ignition sources away when opening.” (punctuation clearly added by me)

What are ‘explosive mixtures with air’ and why would anyone be standing there holding an ignition source, ie. a lighter, when they opened those doors? I’m so confused.

Then, what’s up with the quotation marks? I mean, why not just state LIGHTS ON FOR SAFETY? Wouldn’t it be easier and make more sense? Or is it more tongue in cheek? “Lights on” for safety! *wink, wink* Can someone please explain this to me?

Oh, and for more awesome unnecessary quotes, check out this blog. 🙂

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Look what happened to my new pair of Calvin Klein slacks!! 😦

I just (as in on MONDAY) bought them and was wearing them for the first time (TODAY) and everything was going so well until I got up from eating breakfast (egg white omelet, chicken sausage, gluten free blueberry waffle – definitely not a feast) and I noticed this.

What the heck, Calvin? What. The. Heck. Are you trying to mess with my head? Those pants fit me perfectly! I didn’t even hear it – the seams just quietly separated. Rude. (although, I probably would have cried if it ripped AND made a sound.)

Guess Calvin doesn’t dress CrossFit girls with amazing quads and a squat bootie. Whatevs.

But seriously, they fit perfectly! Not tight or anything. Guess I’ve gotta start doing squats in the dressing room to test the durability of potential new pieces of clothing. #crossfitproblems

Oh, and why are slacks called slacks when that is the same word for something that a lazy person does? Which came first? The slacker or the slacks?

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Meet Cleo. Isn’t she precious? She’s Thing 2’s new kitty.

Omigoodness, that makes me a…a… *gulp* a grandma! #ijustgotagreyhair #hadtomatchthecat

(Thanks, Amanda, for hosting Thinking Out Loud!) 🙂

Talk to me: What do you normally get from Starbucks? Do you have fuzzy alarm clocks that woof and meow? Can you see my grey hairs? Do you or do you not LOVE ‘The Hunt for Red October?’

– jennifer

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2 thoughts on “Quotation marks, labels, and a CrossFit booty (TOL#3)

  1. You are SO funny, Jennifer! 🙂
    I usually get something seasonal from SB or just a skinny latte. Fuzzy alarm clock goes off every single morning at 5:00 AM. Just this morning my husband told me he wakes up because our cat sits on his night stand and stares at him. 🙂 #weirdoes
    I can’t see your grey hair, but I can see my own and it’s a bummer!
    P.S. Nice touch with Vasily!
    P.P.S. Cleo is gorgeous!

    • She really is a sweetie! Makes me a little sad, though, to think my baby girl is a kitty momma. haha! My dogs are so funny about how they wake us up. Max does his one bark (so funny that he goes far away, too! as if he’s being polite by not barking in the bedroom and scaring the living bejeesus out of us.) but Abbey “scoobies” to wake us up. She makes these purring noises, kinda like she’s rolling her tongue. It’s so funny! She’ll put her head on the bed by my face and just scooby away. She’s a nut! Molly, my long-haired calico, likes to stick her claw – yes, just one – in my forehead if she wants me to wake up. She’s drawn blood. Brat. 😉
      And, I LOVE Hunt for Red October! 🙂

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